crossroads

So the plan was to come to Asia, travel a while and then to go to South Korea to teach English. I'm a big believer in signs and there being some kind of path already written for me. I think it's certainly possible to deviate from this path and to take things into your own hands. But, for me, it seems I get an overwhelming sense of peace when I realign with it; whenever I trust in this universe enough to let things fall into place.

I met two wonderful guys when I was in Singapore and ended up joining them on most of their adventure through KL, Cambodia Vietnam and Thailand. They were both so much fun and we were a perfect fit together. I was fond of one of the guys and we became close. Saying goodbye to him was one of the hardest things I've had to do: it felt really unnatural. For whatever reason, Korea has not worked out. If it had gone to plan, I would not have been able to join the lads for their trip to Thailand and my heart would still be rigid and entirely selfish.

I've lost the momentum and the desire to be in Korea now. So, with much consideration, I've come up with an alternative. Being an au pair in Europe is something I've wanted to do for many years, although I honestly had not anticipated doing it so soon. I've been in touch with seven lovely families in or near Prague and I'm just sorting through now trying to see who would be a good match for me. According to my recruitment agency going to Korea now is still an option and I could get my contract any day now, but I'm not excited. I've made it clear to each of the families that I'd like to have a four month contract, potentially extendable if I prefer it over applying for the Jan/Feb intake in SK.

It's all very sudden, but it feels right. I don't believe I'm considering moving to Prague to be with this guy; I'm not interested in putting that much strain and pressure on our friendship. While we were hanging out I was quite frustrated that things could not progress naturally because there was always a limitation. Moving to Prague is as much about me exploring a little part of Europe as it is letting his and my friendship develop however it will. I've done a lot of soul searching these past two days and I can confidently say if nothing comes of it, I wont be disappointed; I'll be glad I got to test things out.

It's crazy (but super cool) to think I could be living in Europe in a month! I feel like I'm really living; I'm listening to my soul and feeding it whatever it craves. This is good.

smitten

this morning I woke (at 5am, no less) to read a wonderful blog post from a friend. it made my morning, day and afternoon. i'm so blessed to have wonderful people like her in my life, people who are capable of articulating themselves well and do so, because they understand it's important.

if you want to read her blog post, click here

just one reason

There are so many reasons I'm smitten with Asia, but here's one: In Ubud, just after my attack, I was feeling a bit low. It's hard to describe, but I was just needing to be distant from people for a bit. I just had to process my own thoughts and feelings. I needed to realign my everything. So, I took some time and then some more.

I met some guys when I was stealing WIFI from their restaurant. One of them was really sweet to me and invited me to come see his village. Jasen drove me on the back of his motorbike, after his shift ended, through the lush countryside of Ubud. I was introduced to his family and welcomed, warmly. We sat on the the top of the hill, over looking a local temple, and smiled sweetly at each other. Between us there was not much common language, so we sat quietly watching dusk blanket the day. I tried to hold back my manic smile, but the moment was too irresistible and I let go.

Being really present in a moment is something I've struggled with. I've been unhappy at times, so found myself looking forward to the future, clutching on to it while simultaneously letting the present slip away. On top of that hill, in the middle of the country side, I was so content I could have burst. I think it was the first day of my life where I have felt really present. Where this moment of time and I are threaded together, like string in a bracelet. We are one. I feel like everything that has happened to me, leading up to this moment, has been beautiful, necessary and just; for without every detail, without every ache, this would not be.


I'm grateful for everything, truly. It's a beautiful feeling.

Yogyakarta

When my camera was dropped it broke a little and now I can't get photos off, so I'm missing a little bit of Bali that I want to share with you, but I'll get there. Yogyakarta was amazing. It is without a doubt one of my favourite big cities in Asia. I'm so glad that I continued my adventures in Indonesia - I had a really great time and now I'm even missing it.


I'm in such a good head space. I took my stitches out myself and my hand is almost back to normal. And I'm feeling new, refreshed, happy and content. I still haven't heard back about Korea, but I know it's going to work out. I'm gonna focus my energy on enjoying the here and now and I'll worry about the serious stuff later.

Sometimes I like to remind myself that a photo I took is what I saw for a split second. It's something I'll never see again in the exact same way... because of this, I find photographs to be incredibly beautiful.