merry go round

A year ago, I was in Europe. It was a different kind of trip to that I'm accustomed to now. It wasn't to my own itinerary, but it was really wonderful. It was my first glimpse at something different to what I call home. It confirmed what I had always suspected: I would love travel and I would want to see more of our world.

I'm all kinds of excited to know that in three weeks my heels will be touching that same soil that changed my everything.

I arrived in Siem Reap and I decided to treat myself. I was walking to the store to buy a tub of ice cream (yes, a whole tub! to eat in bed, of course) when I walked past a massage place. And in a perfect moment of "why not?" I went inside and melted into my chair for a whole hour. It was divine and exactly what I needed.

I'm just about to do 1000 jumping jacks; I want to donate blood at the Angkor Children's hospital but I always have problems when I try to donate blood. Usually they poke and prod both arms, trying to harvest me for whatever they can. I've given successfully, a few times, but it's always painful and difficult. Hopefully my ridiculous bout of exercise will make me an excellent candidate. I think it's important to give what you can, when you can.

wasted.

Since I split up from my three travel friends, I've felt really disconnected. When you travel everything is in a state of constant change: your location, bed, friends, where you eat, what you eat, the currency, the temperature, the time zone. Everything. I think it's what makes travel so amazing, too. You learn so much about yourself when you're in the middle of the unknown. I am just growing a little tired. Although I went home in February, it was under the worst circumstances imaginable. My city was destroyed, my family was devastated and I was in shock. I feel like I've been traveling the past year. I'm craving a home, a kitchen, the ability to do my own laundry, to cook for myself, to bake for others, to run, to know that in a week I'll be in the same place. I want stability, for a little while.

Today I booked my flights from KL to Paris. I also booked a transfer from Bangkok to Siam Reap - step one of my multiple day journey to Takeo. I'm looking forward to seeing those fiery red roads and the wide smiles of the kids. I've got an idea for a photography project, so hopefully I can share some wonderful snaps with you in a few days.

I've been a bit sulky in Bangkok and I've done nothing memorable (although I did have a few great nights out with some people from my hostel). I have, however, reached that point of frustration with myself where I will make the most of my last few weeks in Cambodia. A twelve hour bus trip will help with that. เห็นคุณในภายหลังประเทศไทย !

randomly?

Yesterday, on my Facebook wall a friend, Celia, started asking me some questions about photography. We ended up on a tangent about travel, as my status a year ago on that day had been about going off to Europe. Celia noticed it was the same region of the world at the same time of the year, randomly.

I told her "I'm like that"

Then I showed her the status from the 25th of August 2009 when I said "I want to run away somewhere"
Some friends asked where and I said "Prague"

Prague was always somewhere I dreamed to go, but it has never really made the most sense. It still doesn't, but I feel pulled towards it, now.

Celia then pointed out something must hit me about this time of year. She said that she now understands why I follow the signs I've talked about briefly on this blog. She wishes she had signs.

I replied,

"Those don't believe in magic will never find it"


I find myself lucky enough to find magic in almost anything. There's magic in the way I can change a child's stare into a smile. Or in those conversations that dig deeply into your core. Or in the lyrics of your favourite song. Or in that sinking, deja vu-like, feeling you get when you meet someone you know is going to change your life, forever.

otherside

I don't really like photos of myself for a number of reasons. Firstly, I'm not photogenic. I have crazy hair that often rebels in every direction. Just as a temper tantrum of a child isn't pleasant on film, there are days where images containing my hair should not preserved. Secondly, my camera is very good, it is very sensitive and you can zoom into anything in great detail. This makes me anxious, I don't want someone zooming in on ME. It's creepy. Thirdly, I always try to take flattering photos of people, intentionally using angles that help accentuate their natural beauty and mute any double chins. People who like to take photos of me aren't so kind. Sometimes they're just mean.

There aren't so many photos of me floating around, but on this trip the lads I was with took a few. Sometimes they took photos of me taking photos. It's fun comparing what we both shot.