Saturday, August 13, 2011

just one reason

There are so many reasons I'm smitten with Asia, but here's one: In Ubud, just after my attack, I was feeling a bit low. It's hard to describe, but I was just needing to be distant from people for a bit. I just had to process my own thoughts and feelings. I needed to realign my everything. So, I took some time and then some more.

I met some guys when I was stealing WIFI from their restaurant. One of them was really sweet to me and invited me to come see his village. Jasen drove me on the back of his motorbike, after his shift ended, through the lush countryside of Ubud. I was introduced to his family and welcomed, warmly. We sat on the the top of the hill, over looking a local temple, and smiled sweetly at each other. Between us there was not much common language, so we sat quietly watching dusk blanket the day. I tried to hold back my manic smile, but the moment was too irresistible and I let go.

Being really present in a moment is something I've struggled with. I've been unhappy at times, so found myself looking forward to the future, clutching on to it while simultaneously letting the present slip away. On top of that hill, in the middle of the country side, I was so content I could have burst. I think it was the first day of my life where I have felt really present. Where this moment of time and I are threaded together, like string in a bracelet. We are one. I feel like everything that has happened to me, leading up to this moment, has been beautiful, necessary and just; for without every detail, without every ache, this would not be.

I'm grateful for everything, truly. It's a beautiful feeling.

1 comment:

meg fee said...

oh wow. this is so stunning. "where this moment of time and i are threaded together"--never have more perfect words existed in a more perfect syntax. love, love you and this blog of yours.