Wednesday, November 24, 2010

I keep falling in love

...with the world, every day. We live in such a beautiful place. I've conditioned myself to pause to find the graffiti in hidden places, to breathe deeply to stop and smell the roses. Ironically, muting my emphasis on the materialistic has made my life seem so much richer.

I got lost in central Brisbane the other day and contemplated what constitutes happiness to me. I've grown up thinking that happiness is something that is created by way of gifts, or actions, or activities; that happiness is sought. It is quite peculiar to be happy for no particular reason. I decided that sadness is our default emotion. I have good health, freedom and independence. My life is filled with beautiful genuine people and experiences limited by my imagination. How can my default be sadness? I've actively chosen to shift my base emotion from sadness, or nothingness, to happiness. I have been smirking to myself for no particular reason. I have found myself laughing at my own misfortunes. I have been more relaxed than I can remember. I have been genuinely happy.

I still miss him with all of my heart. I am so grateful for this opportunity to get to know my self and make the changes I needed to make before opening my heart to another person.

The other day I learned that the most important and beautiful moment in your life is right now, because it's the only point in time you have control over. Yesterday's gone and tomorrow's not promised to you.

Brisbane has rekindled my love for brick walls. I would love a loft style apartment with old brick walls and white furniture. I want a big, long dining table with steel chairs where I can entertain. Next year I promise to myself that I'll be sure to celebrate thanks giving with those I adore. I have so much to be thankful and what better what to celebrate it than with good company, wine and a delicious meal. I can't think of much better.

In less than two days I'll be in Thailand. All by myself: eyes wide open. What a beautiful life I'm making.

I can't wait to get there, camera strapped to hand, to explore more xx

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