Saturday, September 10, 2011

a little girl

One day I hope to meet a man, who makes me feel like this:

This is the first day of my life
I swear I was born right in the doorway
I went out in the rain suddenly everything changed
They're spreading blankets on the beach

Yours is the first face that I saw
I think I was blind before I met you
Now I don’t know where I am
I don’t know where I’ve been
But I know where I want to go
Bright Eyes - First Day Of My Life

And then sometime after we've figured out this is a forever gig, we can take the best of us and craft the most wonderful little person. I want my daughter to be a daddy's girl, though when she falls I want her to need me. I'll braid her hair and read her all of my favourite childhood books. We'll sing and dance everywhere. I'll tuck her into bed a little tighter than necessary, so that she always feels wrapped up in my love. We'll make magic in the kitchen. I'll provide her with every opportunity under the sun. We'll laugh until our cheeks are sore. I'll look into her eyes in awe and wonder how I made something so scrumptious. And she'll never question if she's loved, because she'll feel it in each breath I take.

This is what I want for my daughter. I look forward to being a mama, but I know that's a million years away from now. I'm okay with that, I've got so much to do and having a child does restrict you, in terms of travel at least. I'm also missing a pretty key component in that whole baby making process *cough cough eligible bachelors email me*

It breaks my heart to see kids at the orphanage who haven't had parents who love them passionately. Some of them have been abused and neglected. One little boy was found, two years ago, wandering the village, rummaging in rubbish bins for food, severely underweight and underdeveloped - he's still tiny. A brother and sister watched their father murder their mother in front of their eyes. In my mind, children are a precious gift that need to be treasured. I can't understand how adults can hurt children, let alone their own.

This little girl is Srey Mao. Srey means girl in Khmer, so half of the girls at the centre are called Srey. I wonder if the Czech Republic's customs officials would notice her stowed as carry on? She's ridiculously wonderful and that smile is contagious. While I don't have any children of my own, I'm quite happy to invest all of my love into the kids at NFO. I hope, through the time other volunteers and I spend with them, they can understand how precious and loved they really are.

I've only got a week left here in Takeo and I'm going to make sure it's amazing.


Sladjana said...

Izy you are reading my mind! Like every my thought is in this post! hahah super creepy!

Love, daughter, wishes, kids...ah how beautiful said.

If you didn't see...Thanks again for that amazing comment on my blog :) Your love story is giving this romantic soul little bit of hope. And I can't wait European chapter :)

And BTW you can write on my blog anytime! It would be so cool if you would be my guest editor... :)) So just let me know!

Oh yes! Like always amazing photos!


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Daryl said...

Can I be creepy for a moment?



There. Said it.

You captured so much joy in these photographs. I agree with you 100% about children and it breaks my heart to read about the things children have endured. Still, the spirits of children are so resilient. They bring so much joy into our lives...made plainly visible by the photos you've taken!

Sladjana said...

I left you like letter... You know where... :)
But I must say this... Izy you totally made my day! :)
It's so cool knowing that somewhere there are people that understand what you are talking about! ah :)
enjoy in weekend! xoxo

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tea elle said...

I love that your heart is so beautiful, Iz. You will be a wonderful mother. You will take the time to be there for your daughter, to give her love, to answer her questions, to make her feel valued and not stupid, confident in herself and her abilities. You'll teach her to look at the world around her in wonder, not because she doesn't understand it, but because she can appreciate the beauty and joy in a moment, in that way that many children naturally can. More importantly, you'll teach her not to lose this wonderful skill as she gets older.

In the meantime, I love that you're giving your heart-time to the orphanage kids. Any time I read about any of those situations, my heart breaks all over again for the kid, or kids, involved. We talk about the resilience of children without realising how much of a long lasting impact those actions have. Sure, on a day to day basis, they will laugh and smile, but it will take them many years longer to heal inside.

They're so very lucky to have had their lives touched, even briefly, by you and some of the other amazing people at NFO. Hopefully warm glow of the love you give them will in turn give them hope. Confidence. An anchor and a touchpoint to heal those wounds from and to grow into wonderful people.

Taylor said...

These pictures are so bittersweetly beautiful. I just wanted to say i love your blog and glad I found it. Because even though I'm not in doing what you are doing. My heart is right there with you.

Shun Yang Ch'ng said...

Very beautiful post Izy! And is Ty the boy who wandered around the village, rummaging for food? I miss Takeo...

Celia said...

Argh. This post made me cry. Not the bit about the orphange, but your words about having a wee girl. I'm dying to be a mother one day :)

Sonja said...

This post is amazing! Amazing! Amazing!!! In every way possible! What you wrote about being a mom eventually, what you wrote about the children at orphanage, and about this girl. It's so touching! and not to mention the beautiful photos. Have an amazing time in the week you have left, you're doing such an amazing thing!!!!

Marina said...

She is so cute.. So happy! We could all learn from her.. Smile, just smile :)