Saturday, October 8, 2011
So, it's really broken.
My camera's broken, my memory card reader's broken (shame, I have a super cute cowboy photo of Miky) and I'm just going to give up on it for a while. I'll get it repaired soon enough.
I've been thinking a lot. Those big thoughts that usually creep up on you when your covers are pulled up and it's dark out. When you're alone and your thoughts consume you. I feel a little anxious about being so carefree. I'm a little of jealous (only a teeny bit) of those friends who are leaping forward in their careers; working hard and will, presumably, be rewarded hard for it. I wish I had something that linear that I could work towards. Sometimes I think focus makes things easier; clearer. I wish it was as simple as going to university, studying what I want and then kicking ass at it.
I'm in that awkward headspace, where I know I could really do anything if I committed to it. I could do Law (and be a mean bitch) or I could do Engineering or I could go back to Genetics and maybe even save the world. But, for whatever reason, those things don't appeal to me enough for me to commit to them -- to really live and breathe them forever.
The things I dream of, the things I'm in love with, are more abstract. I'd like to be a photographer, but I'd like to capture the world and it's people, not things. I'd like to be a writer, to capture my world. I'd like to be a travel writer, to share our world. And of course, I'd like to volunteer more, so I can help the world (or at least one person). I don't know how to progress in any of those things, and I guess, in the biggest way, being an au pair for now is a way to help time stand still, so I can think and figure it out.
This little picture is too sweet and reminded me to slow down and not worry so much. I'm happy, I'm healthy. I'm a little too far away from those who I love, but Prague will be my playground for the next few months, while I let time stand still. I first saw it here.
Ps. I think I'm going to start writing a book. Not sure if I'll finish. Not sure if I'll share. But, a book!
Posted by withoutizy at 5:17 AM