Tuesday, October 30, 2012


Matters of the heart hurt.

Emotions run deep within all of us, surfacing at the worst of times.

One of my weaknesses is that I can get lost in things; the beauty of sunshine, the chant of monks as dawn breaks, the fleetingness of a moment and the passion shared with another; the possibility in all of that.

They say fools rush in. I seem to jump in, eyes closed, breath paused and I hope for the best. Most often this brings all kinds of adventures, sprinkled with happiness, soaked in experiences and with a hint of sweet knowing - knowing that it was the perfect choice, at the perfect time.

Sometimes, however, the landing isn't smooth and I seem to feel a little battered and bruised. Maybe I trusted too much; maybe I assumed too quickly or worst of all; maybe I was just wrong.

When this happens, it's hard to trust in yourself and in those decisions you made moments long ago. I'm learning, I'm learning to accept that in whatever moment I made the best decision I thought possible.

And that's all that I could ask of myself.

My motto for this year was to be kind; to have a solid foundation of kindness beneath everything. To have kind thoughts, kind feelings and kind actions.

I feel like I'm stepping, slowly, closer towards the person I want to be. To the person I need to be.

I still remember when I was 6 or 7 and I went with my grandma to our local supermarket. She never had much money, but she would always specifically choose to by World Vision sponsored products, because a few cents here and there were donated to charity. I saw her intentionally picking these out and asked why she was doing that.

She said to me,

"I'm just doing what I can to help, we all need to do as much as we can for others"

I find myself in an incredible position, right now. A fresh self-created career as a freelance writer that pays the bills and enough for me to do whatever I please. Detached from anyone and anywhere. But most of all, I find myself inspired; inspired by the words of a lady who left my life too long ago.

We all need to do as much as we can for others. 

I'm going to figure out how I can play my piece.

Of all the places I've visited, there's only one place that feels unresolved.

It's India. It's obvious.

Here's to heartache and the amazing way it rips you open and like a vacuum sucks the world of possibilites inside you.

Here's to bigger and better things.

And here's to making the world a better place.

1 comment:

Dawn said...

This was a wonderful post to read. It came at a perfect time. A time when most of us are still trying to search for who we are, for what we want to do. For where we want to travel. For what we want to experience. Our adult experiences, the first ones we taste when we venture into our lives, inspire us. They mix with our pasts and give us a viewpoint of the world that is unique and personal. For you, it is to make the world a better place. To be comfortable in travel. And I wish you the best.

Again, this was a wonderful post.