Tuesday, September 30, 2014

I Deserved Better

After 1.5 years of waiting for him to be ready to travel, after helping out with his expenses so he could move out of home and focus on university, after teaching him my entire business so he could make a decent income... after supporting him through everything.

He cheated on me and then looked me in the eye and lied to me over and over, even though I knew something was wrong.

Then when I confronted him, he didn't give a shit.

I had made mistakes in our relationship, but I had been honest and done my best to make him feel happy and confident again.

And it was nothing compared to this.

You know, there were all the warning signs; first he cheated on his previous girlfriend with me and it was SO EASY for him to do it. Then he lied to her, and lied to me.

And eventually when they broke up he had all these reasons she was so shit, and I believed them because I loved him. But maybe she wasn't even that bad, maybe he was the shit one.

There's absolutely no reason to cheat on someone like that, especially on holiday, especially after what a hard year I've had (and he knew that more than anyone).

But you know what, he'll be justifying his actions by focusing on EVERY shit thing I ever did and probably adding to them too. He'll be lying at me, attacking me, and bad mouthing me, so people feel sorry for him and to remove the blame for being a shitty person from him.

I gave him everything; I gave and gave and I loved and I loved and this is how he treats me?

It makes me feel sad that I blindly loved such a SHIT person for 2.5 years.

Because that's what he is, a shit person.

Because a good, kind person would never lie and hurt their girlfriend likes this. They'd never let them walk away in hysterics only to spend a few days of transit so upset they couldn't eat or sleep.

They wouldn't then slander them on Facebook and attack them.

That's not how good people act.

It's taken three weeks but I'm thankful things ended. Already so many amazing opportunities have come my way. I had my busiest week of work last week - made almost $8.7K in one week. I've spent heaps of time with great friends and made so many beautiful friendships I'll forever treasure. I got a little something special done... and I'm free. I'm not being held back by a selfish, financially draining, last-minute, vain, selfish asshole.

Maybe I'll always love him, maybe I'll always worry about him but I don't like the person he has become. 

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